Month: August 2021

Well … life went on.

Last week started with …

“It’s time to go.” said Bear.

“But where are we going?” asked Rabbit.

“Forward,” said Bear, “we can’t stay here anymore.”

“So much has happened here though. I don’t know that I can move on.” said Rabbit.

“You can stay if you want,” said Bear, “but life won’t wait with you.”

“It won’t?” asked Rabbit.

“No,” said Bear, “besides, up ahead there might be something wonderful.”

“You think so?” asked Rabbit.

“I think…” said Bear, “if you stay here, you’ll never know.”

~~~

Then last wednesday, a Masonic Brother and friend of Mark’s, who is a realtor and knew all about my situation (being rejected for residency at the Masonic “Home” in Covina), called to tell us a doublewide manufactured home in a planned community called Victorian Village just south of McCloud would go on the market the end of the week.

On thursday Ross took me over to see the house.  It is two bedrooms plus an office, two baths, a completely new kitchen, central ac and heating plus a Monitor heater backup, inside freshly painted, a large porch off the north side of the house, a small garden area which I can redo to an herb garden with a lilac and lavender, a garden shed, and an auxiliary generator wired to kick in when the power goes out (after all, it is mountains and weather is a factor).  I knew I could be happy there.

I met the lady who lives next door (Diane) and her son told me he takes care of the trash for his mother and another lady on the cul de sac (did I mention it was on a cul de sac so traffic will be about the same as it has been here or more likely less) and he would include me at no charge.

The land rental in the community is less than $500/month and includes water, trash, and snowplowing … which can be a big thing in McCloud.

The only down item was the lack of flooring.  The carpeting had been torn out but the seller offered a $3,000 allowance in the house price to cover the cost of replacement (which was upped to $4,000 in the final agreement).

What was there to not like? I told Ross to make a bid.

The minute the place went on the market, Ross entered my bid.

Friday afternoon Ross called me to say we had a verbal acceptance which would be finalized on monday when I went to the Title company, deposited my “earnest” money ($1,000) and signed papers.

As a result, on the first of September, I will own a home in the small town of McCloud, which is actually more the size of a village.  It is on the east side of the Mountain, only 11.4 miles from Mt Shasta via CA-89N – i.e. the Volcanic Legacy Scenic Byway.  That is about the same driving distance as from where George and I lived for so many years into Mt Shasta.

I will end the rest of my years where I am comfortable, amid pines and firs, seeing the Mountain from a different angle, know where all the south County stores are, and have friends.  In addition, the price was $100,000 less than the buy-in to the “Home” in Covina.

It was a miracle.

Thank you to all of those who aided with prayers, meditations, and positive affirmations. 

~~~

The one remaining problem turned out to be not a problem.  I have to be out of this place by next saturday.  I checked out motels in re week-at-a-time occupancy and found one with a good offer. 

Then I was talking with a friend who spends part of each year in Israel (where she is now) and asked if she would consider a house sitter at her place in Mt Shasta and she and her husband said YES.  So I will be there for about three weeks until the sale is final (scheduled for the 1st of September) and new flooring is installed. In  the meantime I am packing up things I thought I would have to leave behind but can now take with me!!!  

I will keep you posted on the progress.

~~~

Weather remained HOT until it turned cold.  Roller Coaster …

The Dixie fire is still out of control so we are again smoke covered a lot of the time.  

There are several new fires.  Among the larger ones are one to the southwest and one to the east.  None are headed toward us.

… and for the first time in recorded history, there is NO snowpack on the Mountain and the glaciers which were there when I moved here are nearly non-existent and melting.

~~~

Next big step for changing my residence into a home is finding a flooring installer who isn’t already booked into October or later due to the influx of new owners in this area. 

The carpeting had been torn out in my new house (it must have been soiled) and I am having it replaced with vinyl fake wood paneling.  I had hoped it could be done asap.

One bid was for more than $8,805 and couldn’t start until the first of October.

Another bid came in close to the same cost but with an installation date of the 15th to 17th of September. 

Then a nursing friend who married into a longtime McCloud family (the McIntosh clan) suggested I call a flooring provider who married a Bambino (also a McCloud clan) who works out of Redding.

So I got treated like family and the bid I accepted was with Jim Roth for $5,517.34 and it will be installed the weekend before Labor Day meaning I can move in the tuesday after Labor Day.

Only obstacle left is finding help removing the carpet stripping and the padding staples from the area to be refloored.

Positive thoughts needed … again.

~~~

Mark et al aren’t sleeping in the house any longer.  They too are preparing to vacate Cold Comfort Farm in favor of the new owners and have taken to their sleeping set-up in their 40’ with pop-outs which they call the “Mansion”. 

~~~

If all this sounds chaotic … welcome to my world.

~~~

Now, at the end of this episode of my life …

I am no longer waiting for a special occasion; I burn the best candles on ordinary days.

I am no longer waiting for the house to be clean; I understand that even dust is Sacred.

I am no longer waiting for everyone to understand me; it’s not their task.

I am no longer waiting for the other shoe to drop; it already did, and I survived.

I am no longer waiting for the time to be right; the time is always now.

I am no longer waiting for a quiet moment; my heart can be stilled whenever it is called.

I am no longer waiting for the world to be at peace; I unclench my grasp and breathe Peace and Love, Peace and Love in and out.

I am no longer waiting to do something great; being awake to carry my grain of sand is enough.

I am no longer waiting to be recognized.  I know I dance in a holy circle.

So … ‘til next week …

Well … life does go on.

Can’t help wishing I had a bit more control.

The Covina “Home”, which isn’t really a “Home”, is out of the picture.  I finally realized that, having been treated as a liar and a cheat by employee(s?) of the California Lodge, I really would never fit in with an atmosphere created by those who say they care for people but actually care for money, and so am calling it a lesson and will be withdrawing as soon as I am able to sign papers on another place to settle.

Some of the responses to my situation indicate that California Masonry is in deep doodoo having lost their way supposedly based on the Masonic tenet of “Relief, Brotherly Love, and Truth” to become a social club much like the Lions and others.  The Elks seem to be closer to that list of beliefs than the Masons.

If any of you have been moved to put a hex on or call for Karma on Masons as a whole, please transfer your efforts to the California Lodge specifically.  My son is a Mason and a good man as are many many Masons.  It would seem to be a mere few in California who are causing problems, not just for me but to who knows how many others.  Maybe just skip the hex thoughts and concentrate on the rule of three … what you give out returns to you threefold. 

Thank you all.

Then early last friday evening (a week after the rejection with no contact inbetween) I got a call from someone named Judy saying she had wonderful news for me.  All had been forgiven, the collective mind set had changed, and they would like me to move into the “Home” asap.

I was gobsmacked! 

I received an email following her phone call, and after much thought, I responded (with my responses in red italics) …

On 8/13/2021 6:03 PM, Judy Figueroa wrote:

Dear Mrs. Dibelka,

I would like to thank you and your son for taking the time to speak with me earlier today.

As we discussed, I will be happy to continue processing your application for admission. I am sorry you feel the staff did not trust you as this was not our intention. –I never indicated I felt it was staff as a whole.  I felt welcomed by all those with whom I interacted.  It was only the one person who chose to believe Zillow over us!  One person !!!- Your application was going well, you picked your apartment and received your TB test by our nurses. Staff did not intend to give you the impression you were not eligible for admission. –I say AGAIN, no staff member with whom I interacted gave me any impression other than that they approved of me.  It was the staff member who decided that on the word of Zillow, which is reliably unreliable, that I was trying to cheat and lying about my finances and therefore should be rejected.  If that was one of the staff I met, they are a good actor.- There seemed to be a misunderstanding –misunderstanding is an understatement– and I apologize for the upset –mental and financial– this has caused you and your son.

Our number one priority is for your safety and well being –I wish I could believe that now.  Trust can be broken soooo easily and takes time to mend.-  I understand you have sold your home and will have no where to live. If you agree we can rush the process of the application and get you moved in. We would be pleased to have you move to the Masonic Homes. Please let me know your decision. As part of the financial review, there are documents required to complete the assessment process.  I will be glad to send you what is needed regarding financial documents. Please feel free to call or email me should you have any questions. My phone number is (626) 251-2230

Judy Figueroa Executive Director

– I am thinking and evaluating and will let you know my decision as soon as the dust settles.   Wilma J. Dibelka –

Sooooooooooooooo, stay tuned.  With hope and heavenly assistance all will be well.

My next move is to find a place where I can live, comfortably caring for myself as long as possible, while being close to, but not with, Mark and his family. In the meantime I will settle somewhere while putting everything except day to day essentials in storage. At least I will now be able to keep some of the furniture (and kitchen ware) which has usefulness, meaning, and memories for me which I thought I had to get rid of because of the smaller space in a Masonic “Home”.

Oh well …

~~~

Weather had remained HOT.  The entire state from the California lower central valley to southern Oregon has been under a pall of smoke due to the Dixie fire.  Smoke density varies from area to area and from day to day. Ash was falling in Weed and Mt Shasta last thursday.  

A RED RED sun, when seen at all, was becoming the norm.

Then yesterday, miracle of miracles, we saw the Mountain for the first time in days and blue sky with a few scattered clouds.

This morning it was almost cold (55º) and clear with light wind.

~~~

Last week, while Kamille and Paul were in Baltimore visiting her parents, Mark and I watched a movie called Greenland, an apocryphal film concentrating on people’s reactions and behavior during devastation by impacts all around the Earth, the result of the passage of Earth through fragments of a comet made of more than ice.  Blame, fright, loss of belief in the Golden Rule, resignation … not much positive.  Reminded me a bit of atomic scare times back in the 50s when there were predictions of behavior between those who built underground shelters in their backyards and those who didn’t but expected to share and be welcomed by those who did.  

George was working in the far west of the San Fernando Valley at the time. We lived in Pomona, which is about sixty miles from Chatsworth where he was working, and our oldest son was a toddler.  Our decision was that if a bomb landed on LA between  us, and George couldn’t get home so we could be together, we would each go outside to watch the show, think of each other, and accept fate.  

One of the top films at the time was On the Beach in which everybody, actually everyone not already dead from radiation, said their goodbyes and swallowed cyanide pills.

~~~

A necessary change, as soon as possible, is to rent a postal box so I will have an address.  My email, this blog site, and my phone number will stay the same.  

Am still learning how to use my cell phone, and am making slow progress.  Main problem seems to be inability to “touch” lightly and having finger pads larger than the spots on the phone.  Too many years of using a slight push such as on a microwave isn’t a help.

Oh for the days of dial or pushbutton phones.

~~~

Nature around here in south Siskiyou County is in flux.  Fruit and vegetable crops are big but not maturing in the expected way.  Evergreen trees are dying … in fires, due to drought, from pine beetles taking advantage of their weakened condition, from lack of direct sun due to smoke, and other stuff.  

We will survive this.  But it is becoming clear the growing zones are moving as the deserts move north.  

Over 100º in Portland?

Oregon on fire all around Salem?

Another BIG California fire.  This time far west southwest of us in Trinity County.

~~~

As I said before, I had been a bit ashamed of having made my farewells and now, much like the bad penny, having to say, as did the poltergeist, “I’m baaaaack.”  

It’s been a bit like being an actress playing Gertrude in the final act of “Hamlet” where everyone dies.  Having given the very best performance of my career, lying completely still for the remainder of the scene, hearing the final lines then a rustle which sounded like the stage curtain coming down, and the start of applause, I got to my feet while smoothing my costume getting ready for the curtain calls only to find that the curtain was still raised.  

But the re-entry/curtain call has gone better than I could ever had hoped.  Everyone has been so supportive and welcoming.  I’ve had two welcome back meals so far this week, with one more planned.  I will resume my monday Community Luncheons with friends next week.  In addition, I will be able to keep my library connection with the two best librarians in the County because they are open via the drivethru window on mondays.

~~~

Tired of all the b—s—? Me too.  I trust what the Universe has in store for my future, and therefore the overall tone of these blogs will improve.  I believe in miracles.

We can’t always choose the music life plays for us, but we can choose how we dance.

So … ‘til next week …

I’ve been absent from this blog for several weeks.  My son and I had been busy trying to get me settled in a California Masonic “Home” in Covina.  My only asset was the property my husband turned from raw land into an off-the-grid homestead which I sold to a young couple with dreams of independent living similar to that of George and I forty-five years ago.

The initial hiccup in my admission to the “Home” process was over a $153.00 unsecured debt.

When that issue seemed to be settled, I was scheduled for admission interviews.  Those interviews went well and it was my impression that the employees at the Masonic “Home” approved of me as an addition to their residential community, and were even rather excited over the life experiences and talents I would bring with me.

I was packed and ready to start the next part of my life.

Then the following happened … 

This is my post on Facebook following three days of non-responses to my calls to the Masonic employee who handles admissions to the Covina unit asking for clarification.

I am back at the land where I lived for 45 years but sold (I have until 1 September to leave) because I am now 91 and, since I am now physically diminished and have always been technically challenged, I am unable to maintain it any longer. I had planned to move into a California Masonic retirement community which they call a “Home”, but that is in abeyance because Zillow told them I sold too low. Zillow added about $200,000 to my sale price because they listed a house on the property without any Zillow employee ever seeing the house or the land. No appraisal was involved in the sale since the agreement was that the new owners bought AS IS. All Zillow’s “appraisal” was on paper using local sales references . BUT the house is in miserable condition due to the years of neglect while my husband was dying. He was aphasic, right side paralyzed, and nearly blind when he died. My application to the Masonic “Home” was denied because of the Zillow report. Some employee of the Masons decided (or so it would seem) that I am a liar and a cheat and was trying to cheat the Masons of their share of my “assets” by making a gift of that $200,000 to the people who bought the land knowing the value is in the land and house needs massive repairs.

I am appealing that decision.

Following that post, There were several supportive responses which I forwarded to the employee in charge of my application.  So far, no response.

This morning I saw this on Facebook and thought how closely it matches my situation with the Masonic Homes of California.

Too often people form inaccurate conclusions, misinterpret information they are given or unfortunately distort truth for their own gain.

Beware … It would seem that if you need Masonic help make sure you bring enough money.

In the meantime, I am back in the area, hoping to find a place where I will live out my remaining years. 

So here I am … back to the blog which will soon have a new title.

~~~

On another, equally upsetting topic … California is in the grip of the worst fire season in recorded history.  The Dixie fire in the Sierra Nevadas in the Lassen National Forest is essentially out of control and aimed to cross the stateline into Nevada.  

Siskiyou County is not currently in danger.

The Dixie has so far burned an area the size of Washington DC in 15 minutes, has burned over 500,000 acres total at the last count, and has laid a deep smoke pall over all of the state north of the Tehachapies.

This morning at dawn the sun looked small through the smoke and was a dull, deep red colour.

A cousin who lives in San Luis Obispo posted the following …

What a puzzlement, you might say.  Not really.  You just need to understand what you are looking at.  First image:  a “firestorm” so hot that it burned out cars, but not the trees.

Second image:  a fire so hot it reduced a home to nothing but ashes (no framing, no appliances, nothing!) but left the trees.

These images are from the current fire in California that destroyed the town of Greenville (just as an identical fire did the town of Paradise 2 years ago).

My response … Gaia knows where the danger to her health lies and it isn’t with nature.

~~~

And that’s it for today.  Next week I will share what has happened in my search for a home.  

“It’s time to go.” said Bear.

“But where are we going?” asked Rabbit.

“Forward,” said Bear, “we can’t stay here anymore.”

“So much has happened here though. I don’t know that I can move on.” said Rabbit.

“You can stay if you want,” said Bear, “but life won’t wait with you.”

“It won’t?” asked Rabbit.

“No,” said Bear, “besides, up ahead there might be something wonderful.”

“You think so?” asked Rabbit.

“I think…” said Bear, “if you stay here, you’ll never know.”

… and …

Don’t hesitate, just jump.  Build your wings on the way down.

So … ‘til next week …