30 December …

More thoughts in the time of COVID-19 … 

Well, it was a white Christmas … between 2” and 3” with fierce winds from all directions.  There was snow on every window … all four sides of the house.

Saturday we were still getting snow, but no wind and light fall.  Total at sundown about 3” after a bit of settling.

Sunday cold and overcast.  No new snow.

Monday and tuesday cold and clear.  No new snow.

Today is cold with the expectation of rain.  We are also having wind but it is capricious.  George built this house so secure that wind has to be nearly hurricane force before we hear it indoors.  As a result, we mostly see rather than hear wind.  And seeing it is interesting.  Often the wind is specific to a certain level … i.e. treetops may be whipping around but at ground level all is calm.  This morning it was the other way around… limbs at ground level were dancing and the treetops were watching.

~~~

 Paul got a drum set among his Christmas gifts.  Fortunately it is not acoustic and came with earphones so no one else is aware of the “practice” time.

You, who have been with me for any amount of time, know I have always had a thing for drummers.  The difference between that situation and this is the practice time was all before I met those others or heard them.

I still have sets of drumsticks which were George’s.  Were he still here, Paul would be learning street beats as well as club trio rhythms.  I wonder if he will ever approach the “Wipeout” level.  Probably not since his attention span for any project is truncated by the many options available.

Oh well …

~~~

I have finished reading the final book in the Gateway Trilogy.  I looked at the due date last night and was interested (there’s that word again) to see the due date is 6 January 2020.   Boy, when I have a book overdue I do it up royally.

These three books are followed by another series in the same settings.  I think I’ll wait a bit before I start those.

In the meantime, I plan to spend time in Venice, California in 1949, in turn of the 20th century San Francisco, on a res with a Crow Keeper, learning magick with Alice Hoffman, and ???

How about you?

~~~

Learned a new gift guide this holiday.  Give gifts in batches of four… one that they want, one that they need, one they can wear, and one they can read. 

Sounds overwhelming, but you can adjust to fit your budget … They want a pet = a stuffed animal; need food = crackers and cheese; to wear = socks; to read = a paperback.  Shouldn’t be too costly.  Upscale from there.

~~~

Tyler will be moving into his new digs over the next few days.  He found a place in town with his own bathroom and room for his animals.  

In the past, when the family lived down in the barn, there were four of us and a cow to help moderate the temperatures.  We talked about securing that area as a guest apartment, but never got around to the work involved.  And the distance over dirt roads makes it hard for full time workers.  So this move will be a good one for Tyler.  

I will miss seeing him but this will be great for him.

~~~

My trip to 1949 Venice, California has begun as of last monday evening.  I have no idea why I recently put Ray Bradbury’s “Death is a Lonely Business” on my reading list.  I thought I’d read all of Bradbury.  Wrong.

And this has been a strange meeting.  I feel so in-tune.  Bradbury writes about the beach area in southern California between Redondo Beach and Santa Monica the way I remember it …

No LAX but a small air field called Mines Field surrounded by hog farms and bean fields.  A small seaside village built to imitate the canals in Italy’s Venice, in 1949 slipping from Hollywood chic to trashy despair but before being refound by the hippies.   A beloved wooden thriller ride being torn down.  A mud slough where my Daddy took me with him to fish for bottom feeders like catfish.  Red cars running north and south along the beach and east into downtown LA through Culver City.  Oil wells in El Segundo backyards and parks.  A drug store (Converse’s) on the corner where they served egg salad sandwiches with lattice potato chips and lime phosphates at the ice cream counter and where there were pulp magazines with wonderful stories like “The Moon Pool” and stuff about outer space and fantasy worlds which left me breathless.  Cousins up a block and three houses north and others west of the high school and only three blocks from the beach dunes.  An empty lot across from Nana’s house on Concord Street where there had been barrage balloons and exciting boy-men stationed during the war.  A beach just over the sand dunes but without a sewage plant.  A telephone exchange (where my mother’s aunt worked) down the block from the City Hall (where my Nana worked) where live women answered saying “Number Please” when you lifted the receiver.  A natatorium to the south with multiple pools of all temperatures, depths, and sizes, and with both clear and salt water.  An oil refinery immediately adjacent to the south with a recognizable odor when the wind was incoming from the southwest.

And so much more …

After eighty years I can still hear, see, and smell it.

I wonder what kept me from reading this book a long time ago.

~~~

COVID deaths in California are up … we have had nine so far in Siskiyou County.  We are a small county so nine is a lot.

Following his two weeks of intense “work” (six to twelve hours at a stretch) to produce the Christmas Eve video for his church, and the necessary filming of musicians with whom he is not usually in contact, Mark began feeling ill.  He and Kamille were tested last sunday and we will get the results in a day or so.  In the meantime, we are all staying out of circulation.   

So far, no one else feels ill.

~~~

Ever since Yule and Christmas, evenings and mornings out my window have been loverly with the waxing Moon on the crest of the new fallen snow …

Dan Rather said it well …

I hope. I mourn. I pray. I love. I listen. I share. I resolve. I waver. 

Life is complicated. 

So … ‘til next week …  

23 December …

More thoughts in the time of COVID-19 … 

There is snow on the ground … but not a lot.

This morning’s low was the coldest yet … 19०.

Morning Sunrise today on the lower Eddys – 0755.

Morning Sunrise in the window – 0819.

Two days into winter … 88 to go.

Wood shed and pantry are full.

~~~

The Holidays began last friday with the online Trans-Siberian Orchestra Christmas show.

I had never known about the Trans-Siberian Orchestra.  Guess it is time for me to take a step forward.  They are a rock band plus, but I guess a lot of you already know that. Oh well …

I was pleasantly surprised at hearing classic carols given the rock treatment.   And the holiday story, although timeworn, was nice.  It’s good to be reminded.  

And a holiday-tradition-in-the-making was hearing Paul begin with Jingle Bells on the keyboard.  He will begin piano lessons once COVID allows.

~~~

One downer in the season was the announcement that Mark Shields is retiring from PBSNews.  George and I had come to look forward to his insight on the week’s federal politics each friday.  His partnership with David Brooks was always civil and instructive.   It provided good instruction in the art of agreeing to disagree with the added possibility of learning and possibly changing opinions.  I hope the new partner chosen for Brooks will be as good a match.  

I will miss Mr. Shields.

First Gwen Ifill and now Mark Shields … profound losses.

~~~

I spent last monday afternoon renovating the chicken house.  I cleared a spot on the floor where I can scatter scratch (evening chicken candy) for the cold months.  And rearranged the floor space so the feedcans are more accessible.  Also replaced the straw in the egg nests.  

I felt quite good having accomplished all that.  Now the hens need to show appreciation by laying … laying … laying.

~~~

Because of an incident in a group to which I belonged, I began thinking about the difference between reasons and excuses.  I’ve thought about this before and felt I understood the difference.  But the incident reminded me that others don’t seem to differentiate.

To me, it seems simple.  

The reason you do something  is the why and every action has a reason. 

But an excuse is when something  you’ve done didn’t go well and you feel the need to escape responsibility.

Reasons can indicate regret and possibly trigger apologies.  Excuses are saying “It wasn’t my fault” and laying blame off somewhere else.  

I will continue to act with this difference in mind.  How someone else reacts is not within my control.

~~~

Current reading is the prequel to Follett’s The Pillars of the Earth set at the turn of the century from the 900s to the 11th century … the end of the Dark Ages.  The site is the English Channel countries, specifically the Dorset, Somerset, Wiltshire area in England and Normandy on the continent.  It is a heavy read (over 900 pages as well as a lot of history and atmosphere).  I am enjoying it.  It brings to life a scary, depressing, hopeful time … much like today.

Next up on the reading pile … escapist fantasy fiction.

~~~

Over the years, one facet of holiday tradition was unchanged … until three years ago.   For over sixty years I baked the Shaffer recipe for Sand Tarts shared with me by my older sister-in-law Sally.  George once said “How can it be Christmas without sand tarts?”

Sand tarts are a very (!) thin sugar cookie.  Instructions are to roll them so thin you can read the newspaper through them.  And they are always cut with handmade cutters dating to the mid-1800s (at least then, but I think they are older than that), topped with a fingertip dab of milk, a sprinkle of cinnamon sugar, and an almond half (when almond halves weren’t available, and I didn’t have time to split whole almonds, we used almond pieces).  

Everyone had their favorite cutter.

The family make-up changed after George’s death and I hadn’t pushed to continue the tradition.  I missed them, but …

Then yesterday, Kamille brought them into a conversation.  It was a gift.  She may not recognize it as such, but I did.  

The cookie cutters were found and set out.  Mark reminisced about holidays past and pointed out his favorite cutter.  This morning it was agreed that after packages on Christmas Day the kitchen area would be cleared and we would bake sand tarts. 

When there were children at home, I mixed and rolled and the cutting, dabbing milk, sprinkling sugar, and punching on the almonds was left to George and the boys.  For the last twenty years it was just George and me so the mixing, rolling, and cutting was up to me while he did the milk, sugar, and almonds.  This year we have enough folks to set up a production line again.

I am indeed blessed.

~~~

Sunrise on Yule (Winter Solstice) came through my window at 0817.  Tuesday it seemed to be the same.  Guess I’m just too impatient for the days to show their lengthening.  By Candlemas (2 February … mid-winter) mornings should be brighter.

And again I am reminded of the R.L.Stevenson poem about mornings.  There is a pronounced difference in mornings between where I grew up (southern California – little seasonal difference) and where I have lived for the last 40+ years (far northern California – very different sunrise position and day length as seasons change).

~~~

Last monday I received two gifts … phone contacts from friends with whom I had not spoken in too long.  

I will make myself a calendar note to try to remember to make an unscheduled, possibly unexpected, call at least once a month.

Pay it forward …

~~~

Mark has been working on producing a Christmas Eve video for his church as a replacement for the COVID banned in-church service.  He has been working on it for over a week.  We, as a family, had gotten into the tradition of attending Christmas Eve service (there is a kneeler off to the side of the altar area dedicated to the Blessed Mother where I would stop after the service).  I hold on to the memory of standing next to Mark listening to him sing.  Now I am looking forward to tomorrow at 1900 PST when the video will show on YouTube (link at SBECMS.org).

~~~

I am always gratified when someone says what I wish I had said and says it well …

Robin Wall Kimmerer:  “I cherish the notion that the holiday ‘gift’ economy might back away from the grinding market economy that reduces everything to a commodity and leaves most of us bereft of what we really want … relationship and purpose and beauty and meaning, which can never be commoditized. I want to be part of a system in which wealth means having enough to share, and where the gratification of meeting your family needs is not poisoned by destroying that possibility for someone else. I want to live in a society where the currency of exchange is gratitude and the infinitely renewable resource of kindness, which multiplies every time it is shared rather than depreciating with use.”

So ‘til next week … Blessings and Happy Holidays all…

16 December …

More thoughts in the time of COVID-19 … 

Semi-winter is here.  Cold but not much snow.  That’s probably due to the drought condition of most of California.  No precipitation, at least not enough to do much good.  There has been some snow on the Mountain, but I remember years when She was completely white by the first week in November.  Here it is only days from Winter Solstice and there is bare earth here as well as on the Mountain.  What that means for next year’s fire season is anybody’s guess.

People are beginning to understand and doing a lot of clearing preparation.  Mark has been busy here, and a trip into town shows me a big change in the looks of the forest.  Trees have been thinned and trimmed up to six or seven feet from the ground.  There are slash piles everywhere waiting for burn weather and/or chipping. 

It looks weird to see areas where at one time being able to see more than a few feet into the trees was unusual. Not any more.

When we do get a bit of snow, everyone rejoices.

~~~

Tyler’s wish to again be his own man will be realized by the first of the year.   He will be moving into a place of his own without the feeling of his father and grandmother always aware.  Through a friend at the Humane Society where he works, he found a lady who needs someone in the apartment attached to her house.  Her first requirement was no pets (interesting because of the Humane Society connection), but after meeting Tyler’s furry kids, she changed her mind and will allow part of the yard to be prepared for Gypsy and Rus.  Tyler will be helping with the yard work and minor household repairs as part of the rent.

It would appear to be a good deal for everyone.

~~~

Mark’s family used to do a faux Christmas tree back east.  George and I always cut a tree off the property.  This year, what with fire prevention clearing, there aren’t any proper trees for cutting here.  So they ordered one off the internet before Thanksgiving.  It has yet to arrive. 

A friend of Kamille’s mentioned she had a tree in her yard which had to come out.  We now have a six foot fir in the living room.

The decoration boxes came out last sunday and it was fun watching Paul pick an ornament and tell us what was happening the year it was added to the tree … the angel on top is one I made the year Mark was born, another was the first year here in Mt Shasta, etc.  

Nostalgia reigned.

~~~

Current reading is a book characterized as a cross between Outlander and The Mists of Avalon.  It is titled The Lost Queen and is set in the area just north of Hadrian’s Wall, between Scotland and England, in the 5th century before Arthur the King became legend.

I’ve been a King Arthur fan for a long time (knowing Geoffrey Ashe, the authority on Arthur, probably helped foster that interest).

The book is well written and one of those just-one-more-chapter books.

The next on the reading list is a return to Victorian San Francisco.  The to-watch list is topped by the new Sophia Loren movie, directed by her son, and the new Merle Streep.

~~~

Mark has been busy-busy putting together a film to be shown in place of the COVID-cancelled Christmas Eve service.  He’s been recording vocals and readings by various church members to be shown on the St Barnabas YouTube site on Christmas Eve.

Mark has a lovely tenor voice and we are told he also has perfect pitch.  Back in ‘97, when he was shot in the throat, I remember the fear he would not speak, let alone sing, again.  Now I remember last December sitting beside him in church listening to him Rejoice, Rejoice … Emmanuel will come to ye oh Israel.

~~~
And another big change … I am no longer on the Board of the local landowners’ association.  My choice.  So you won’t be bothered with things pertinent to just this area any longer.  And I won’t be trying to do things to help people who think they deserve being helped without the need to become involved.

Oh well …

There is a final song.  A song of endings. It’s not sad.  It simply is.  It is simply seeing beyond … bidding farewell to the path you have been walking and welcoming the path ahead.

     … paraphrased from “Follow the Crow” by B.B.Griffith

So … ‘til next week … 

9 December …

 More thoughts in the time of COVID-19 … 

I think I owe all of you an apology (seems I’m having to offer apologies a lot lately).

When I’m feeling down, I need to stay away from the computer.  Go hide in a book or at my spinning wheel for a bit of time.

I was down … but I’m better now.

~~~

This morning I am off early to Yreka to call on the County Mapping Technician and the Senior Planner for the County.  Maybe we can finally get the designation of Dale Creek Road (which is a private road running through the western part of Hammond Ranch) changed from a US Forest Service road to a private road.  For some reason this took a lot of phone calls, negative responses from County employees, and explanations of the reason for the change even though we have a letter from the Forest Service saying it isn’t their road and a State Appellate Court decision stating it is a private road.

I’ll report back on whether this time we succeed or what the next hoop is through which we are required to jump.

~~~

The death toll in this county reached 5 last friday … 7 by monday.  That’s a lot for a county as sparsely populated as this one, and they all seem to be here in the south county area.

I am seeing more masks now.  As I was adjusting mine to go into the grocery store last week I saw a man look at me then turn and go back to his car to get his mask.  That counts as a win.

~~~

Still no snow.  However, the view out my window was a good one last saturday.  The sky was overcast and there was wind.  That combination made the colours near the ground muted but clear.  And the wind set the remaining birch leaves to scintillating, even dropping in a style similar to a rather stately pavanne.

The maple and the catalpa are both bare.  The birches soon will be.

Of course the evergreens are ever green but the shades of green are muted and tinged with grey-brown.  All the ground cover is grey-brown as well.  Not colourful enough for autumn and not white enough for winter.  We seem to be suspended between seasons.

Only sixteen days until solstice and the days will begin to lengthen again.  Currently the morning trip out to the chickens is usually around 0800 or a bit later, and the evening lock-in is fifteen or twenty minutes before 1700.

~~~

The threat of fire is nearly non-existent here now.  Things where we are seem to be wet enough to make fire controllable with more rain predicted for the next couple of days.  But there is a dangerous, destructive fire down south tied to Santa Ana winds.  Those winds coming over the Sierra Nevadas are most of the driving force behind the California fires and they never get as far north as we are.

I got a call from a cousin in Florida checking to make sure we are okay and it struck me that folks on the east coast really don’t understand California.  That fire is fifteen or sixteen hours driving time south of us, still in California.  If you were in Rochester, NY on Lake Erie (where my son used to live) the fire would be somewhere in north Georgia, or if you were in central Florida it would be near the North Carolina-Virginia border.  

As a lifelong Californian I gawk at driving twelve hours and going through as many as eight or ten states.

~~~

I’ll take care of the chickens as I go out to the car and leave you with these wise words from a funny man.  They are worth making a part of an every morning routine …

“Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself that I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.”

— Groucho Marx

So, still hoping … ‘til next week … 

2 December …

More thoughts in the time of COVID-19 … 

The seasonal time has truly shifted.  Thanksgiving Day (a day during which I was grateful for several things, but not necessarily thankful) ended with a bang … one minutes it was sunny with light hitting the trees out the window, then bang the sun was gone.  It wasn’t dark but everything here was in shadow.

~~~

Last monday was eventful.  I got up early, even for me, to make it around the hill to McCloud to the only dentist in the south county taking new patients, unless you could pay cash or had some expensive insurance, for a first-in-the-morning appointment only to be told they had cancelled last week due to COVID upped restrictions and so they were doing last week’s appointments this week.  Didn’t I get the phone call?  No, I didn’t.  And I was not allowed to even step into the lobby out of the cold.

When I got home, I checked and the only missed call on my phone was a number that reverse number look up said was unlisted.  And there was no message left.  I was assured I would be called within a few days to reschedule.  So far, no call.

~~~

Remember times when you were having a rough go of it and people said something along the lines of “yea … you got it rough, but look at all the others who also have it rough or even rougher.” ???

It was supposed to make you feel better and grateful.

Did it ever?

We ALL are right now quite a distance from Bernsteins’s Candide who lived in the “best of all possible worlds”.  

I don’t need to outline it for you.  Anyone who is neither part of the 1% elite or in complete denial knows what I’m talking about.  And the dental thing wasn’t all. 

Cataloging my cares and concerns might make me feel better but only temporarily, and it wouldn’t do any good for you … so screw it.

But come to think of it … there was one good thing last week … no family or friend deaths.

~~~

Please accept my apologies, but this will be a short blog.

~~~

Because I am down and we all could use a laugh, here’s an Erma Bombeck from years ago …

” Adults can take a simple holiday for Children and screw it up. What began as a presentation of simple gifts to delight and surprise children around the Christmas tree has culminated in a woman unwrapping six shrimp forks from her dog, who drew her name.” 

– Erma Bombeck

So, with hope in my heart … ‘til next week …